Skip to main content

FEATURED

Long Overdue Gumption

Am I satisfied?  Am I comfortable?  Am I too comfortable?  Alright... am I happy?  Ruminating over the pathway to finding the answers to those questions seems healthy. Always questioning the decisions you make so that you are situating yourself to be in the best possible version you can be seems therapeutic.  Smelling the sweet scent of reality comes with an internal conflict.  I've made the adult decision to take care of myself for once. I've made this decision many times before, but half-heartedly followed through. In the past, I tended to run away from issues — avoiding phone calls and ignoring emails. I always found an escape route, dropped a grenade down the hole, closed it, and walked away, neglecting the unresolved problems.  I could have continued this way, but to be honest, I am afraid. I've played a risky game my entire life, but I don't think this new world will continue to accommodate me if I keep this up. We all have aspirations, whether t...
Read more

Anyone Can Be Cynical

Happiness comes in troves but quickly dies off as it progresses. I've found a new outlet — one that is accepting of the weird, the unnatural, and the freedom of expression. I drive thirty minutes out of my way to get to it on weekend nights, but the 2 a.m. drive home is well worth it. I smile as I watch. I laugh as I greet. I pay attention as I stand. Excitement has finally found its way back to me. I wake up with an enthusiastic step in my walk. The once crooked smile has finally straightened itself out.

Recent life events have given me every reason to curl up in a ball and wallow in the inconveniences life has to offer. However, I've accepted that it's too self-indulgent to be cynical about this life of ours. I loved to hate. I saw the negative in you, me, and everything in between. That's no way to live. Living in distrust of those around us doesn't lead to gold.

I renamed this "hard-to-find" gathering of words Anyone Can Be Cynical because it's about finding the balance between cynicism and optimism — looking at the bright side of things. I squandered a large portion of my formidable years blaming the world and unknown higher powers, convinced they were against me. Never did I look back and acknowledge what life had given me. Reflection and the education that comes from properly pondering the past are the true paths to growth.

I romanticized a life where the girl, the job, and general success would come calling at a moment's notice. I never took the proper steps to work on them once I had what I wanted. I coasted, expecting things to magically work themselves out. In a way, they did — yet their potential was never fully realized. The voice in the back of my mind, constantly reminding me that these things would fail or forget about me, flooded my hopes for the good life. The subconscious has a funny way of showing itself, and before you realize it, it could be too late to reverse what was there all along. It's the hidden truth.